“I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.”
-Billy Joel
About twenty years ago I decided to send a short essay that I had written to the magazine, “Guideposts.” I believed that I had composed a real gem and that this piece had a good chance of being published. I mailed my article, and in less than a week I received a thanks-but-no-thanks letter saying that my masterpiece was less than masterful. I don’t remember what the letter said, but it might as well have contained one word in giant letters – REJECTED! The response was so quick that I was almost convinced they mailed the rejection letter to me before I even submitted my essay.
No one likes to be rejected. We’re desperately searching for the opposite – acceptance. But from whom? Robert McGee, in his book, “The Search for Significance,” says that we humans fall into the trap of turning to others for only what God can provide. When we do this we fall prey to Satan’s lie:
Our Self-Worth = Performance + Other’s Opinions
Living by this equation will rob us of God’s best for our lives.
Paul addressed this need to please when he raised this question in his letter to the Galatians: “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ (Gal 1:10).”
Please allow me to ask you the same question Paul asked:
- Are you trying to win the approval of men, or of God?
- Are you trying to please Christ?
If you’re not sure about your answer, then let’s ask this: Whom are you serving? Bob Dylan answered the question this way; he said you can’t have it both ways: “You gotta serve somebody. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you gotta serve somebody (from his song “Gotta Serve Somebody”).” Jesus said the same: “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other (Mt 6:24).”
McGee admits in his book that, he too, finds himself falling back into approval-seeking behavior patterns from time to time. He states, “I don’t believe that any of us will gain complete freedom from this tendency until we see the Lord.”
We can spend our whole lives trying to please others, serving man, and living in fear of rejection. It is a trap that leads to disappointment and an unfulfilled life. Jesus offers us an alternative – the abundant life, one that’s free from the performance-based system of the world. The only acceptance we need is from Jesus. Paul tells us this acceptance translates into peace: “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Rom 5:1).”
Because of what Christ has done for us, we can live by this simple equation:
Our Worth = God’s Opinion of us
There’s no “self” in it at all. Our worth is given to us by God. It cannot be earned nor is it in the hands of others. We can’t perform our way to higher value nor can we lobby ourselves to a loftier social status. Because of what Christ did for us “while we were yet sinners,” we can live with confidence in the assurance of His redeeming grace, which sets us right with God so that we no longer have a need for self.
Peace with God trumps people pleasing every time. Let’s rest in the peace we have been given through our faith in Christ. The peace that we get from knowing that we are accepted by Him. The peace we get from knowing we will never be rejected by the Creator of the Universe.
Play to win this week in the game that really counts!
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