“I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations – one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it – you will regret both.”
-Soren Kierkegaard
Somewhere around my early thirties, I made a decision to live my life without regrets. I didn’t want to look back in my senior years and say, “I wish I had done that.” I also didn’t want to look back and say, “I wish I had not done that.” No matter how much I’ve wanted to live my life without regrets, I still have some. I’ve not always made the best decisions when it comes to my health, money, relationships, education, and career. It comes with being human.
How about you? Got any regrets?
The definition of regret is to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): to think of with a sense of loss. Regret usually sounds something like this: “I can’t believe I did that, said that, bought that, lost that;” or; “I can’t believe I didn’t do that, didn’t say that, didn’t buy that, didn’t keep that.”
A little over twenty years ago, I remember a very difficult career decision I was trying to make. I was wound tight over it, worried that whatever decision I made might be the wrong one, and I would live with nagging regret the rest of my life. I went to talk to my dear friend and mentor, Jim Stephens. He asked, “Bill, what do you think God’s will is for your life?” I quipped, “That’s why I’m here talking to you, Jim,” letting out a sarcastic chuckle. He pulled out a sheet of paper and drew a big circle. He asked again in a slightly different way. “What is God’s perfect will for you?” he said. I responded, “That I would know Him through His Son Jesus Christ.” He responded, “That’s right.”
He then drew a stick figure in the middle of the circle. “That’s you, Bill. You’re in His will already because you know Him. You can’t mess it up.” He went on to tell me that God has given me freedom to make decisions inside this circle. “God is not going to always tell you exactly what to do, Bill, but as you seek Him, drawing near to Him through prayer, the reading of His Word, and fellowship with other Christians, you will make the right decisions. Sometimes they won’t always seem right, but He is going to work all things for your good because you are called according to His purpose. Living without regret isn’t possible, Bill, but God has promised to be with you no matter what choices you make.” Relief flooded over me as my friend spoke these words of truth.
We can spend too much time and effort trying to find God’s perfect will for our lives. The fact is, His perfect will is a partnership that comes about at the intersection of Christ’s intervention for us and our surrender to Him. Our story is our story. We can’t change our past, but we can co-write our future. God gives us agency – freewill. We can use our freedom to indulge in the acts of the flesh, or walk in the ways of the spirit. Through Christ’s intercession, God’s power can restore what the locusts have eaten so that our scars are no longer evidence of our mistakes, but memorials to our victories.
The Apostle Paul spent the first half of his life fighting God, zealously persecuting the very people of whom he would later become one of. But his second half defined him, as he did an about face due to his unique encounter with the living Christ.
The actions of your yesterdays don’t have to be the regrets of today. Today is the beginning of your second half. It doesn’t matter your age. You could be thirty, fifty or even seventy or older. You and I have the opportunity today to redeem the regrets of our past. God’s story for us – His perfect will – contains no regrets, just missteps on our part that have been redeemed through the blood of Christ; imperfections that have been made perfect.
Let us heed the words of Paul – the guy who blew his first half – who said, “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Ph 3:13-14).”
Have you been thinking you might have blown your first half? Not so. The Bible tells us God has forgiven and forgotten our first half (see Heb 8:12). God loves us for who we are, not what we should be. Grace is God’s work in our lives that we cannot do ourselves. His Grace is at work redeeming our regrets of our yesterdays and clearing the paths of our tomorrows … and His grace is sufficient.
Play to win this week in the game that really counts!
Are you a business owner, executive, or other professional looking to grow your business and improve your life? If so, see how Bill and his firm might be able to help you: Northstar Leadership