Beware of the Shame Game

Wanna get away?

This is the hook line for Southwest Airline’s most successful advertising campaign. It ran from 1998 – 2008, and due to its effectiveness, was revived last year. The commercials depict an assortment of leading characters caught in awkward blunders. The individual creates an embarrassing act, then the narrator of the commercial asks the question, “Wanna get away?” while the character is left in the scene to wallow in their self-inflicted humiliation. The solution? Purchase a “Wanna Get Away” ticket from Southwest and fly far, far away, leaving your shame behind.

If only it were that easy.

I’m convinced the campaign’s popularity is owed to the fact that we so easily identify with the feelings of the commercial’s protagonist. We know what it is like to want to run away from the latest blunderous chapter of our life’s story, and often our entire narrative. In fact research in 2014, out of the Department of Social Psychology, University of Amsterdam, confirms as much by providing empirical evidence that the feeling of humiliation and shame is more intense than those of happiness and anger.

If Moses were around today he could have easily been spotted in the Southwest ticket line purchasing a “Wanna Get Away” ticket right around his fortieth birthday. Four decades into his life, Moses created a shameful act when he came to the rescue of one of his fellow Hebrews that was being mistreated by an Egyptian. Moses looked both ways to make sure no one was looking, then killed the Egyptian and buried him in the sand (see Ex 2:11-15). But someone was looking and word got back to Pharaoh, who subsequently put a bounty on Moses’ head. Moses then fled to Midian, presumably to live out the remainder of his life in relative obscurity as a simple shepherd.

But God had different plans. He always does. The Lord spoke to the fugitive through a burning bush and said He wasn’t done with Moses. God gave Moses a directive to go to Pharaoh to bring His people, the nation of Israel, out of Egyptian slavery (Ex 3). Moses obeyed.

I ran across a story this week of another person who created a shameful act, then eventually tried to run from her humiliation. Her name is Monica Lewinsky. Ms. Lewinsky, a young co-participant in the lurid acts of President Bill Clinton, faced abashment nearly half of her life for her two-year affair that took place in the mid-nineties with President Clinton.

In a recent TEDTalk titled “The Price of Shame”, Monica Lewinsky spoke of how she dropped out of the spotlight about ten years ago. The shame of being known for only one scandalous thing, and the pain of being discounted as a person of any worth, was devastating to her. In her own words, “I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and of course, ‘that woman.’ I was seen by many, but actually known by few. I lost my reputation and my dignity.”

But Ms. Lewinsky, like Moses, chose not to remain stuck in her desert of Midian. She found a way to use her experience for good in 2014, and became an advocate against cyber bullying. She was asked why now? Her answer, “Because it’s time – time to stop tiptoeing around my past and time to take back my narrative.”

Like Lewinsky when she exited the public spotlight, Moses’ story looked like it was over for him at age forty. Had Moses chosen not to answer the call of God to take on a second career at age eighty, the Bible might read, “Moses killed the Egyptian then fled to Midian where he tended sheep until he died.”

I don’t know where Ms. Lewinsky is in her spiritual life. I hope she’s encountered the grace and mercy of a loving God through His Son Jesus Christ. But I do admire her for “taking back her narrative.” Moses took back his narrative. He answered the call for a second half of life that was characterized by redemption and restoration through his obedience to the God of second chances. For those of us who are followers of Christ, we have the opportunity not only to take back our story, but also to partner with God in the rest of the story.

No matter what chapters have been written to date in our earthly biographies, our epilogue is still in draft mode with the ending known only to God. For the one who is trusting in the gift of salvation you can be assured that your story ends with the phrase “happily ever after.”

Wanna get away? No need to. That’s not the solution. The solution is to quit tiptoeing around your past, give Jesus your shame, and get back in the game. Moses was eighty when he gave God his shame and embarked on his second career. How old are you? Will you dare partner with Almighty God to take back your narrative while you still have breath in your body? Will you stay and obey, or choose to just fly away?  Don’t let your story read, “He fled to the desert then died tending sheep.”

Play to win this week in the game that really counts!