The Howling Psalmist: What to Do When You Can’t Feel God’s Presence

Back in the early 70s, evangelist Billy Graham shared the following in one of his messages: “When I was in school, I wrote to my mother and said, ‘Mother, you know for the last few weeks I haven’t been able to get anywhere in my prayers and I don’t feel Christ.’ She replied, ‘Son you have accepted Christ as your Savior, and whether you have feeling or not, the moments that you don’t feel anything are the moments when He may be the closest because that’s the moment that you must walk by sheer faith, for God may be testing you.’”

If you think Dr. Graham’s few weeks of not feeling Christ was a one-time thing, you’re wrong. Four decades later he wrote about his struggles with doubt and despair that occurred in his later years of life as well in his book, “Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well,” which was published in 2012. He acknowledged that even believers can experience periods of darkness and uncertainty, and he wrote of the importance of holding onto faith in difficult times by seeking comfort and guidance from God.

Have you ever walked by sheer faith when you didn’t feel God’s presence? I have. Usually, it’s felt more like muscle memory than faith. My personal experience has been that it’s often hard to see a bright future when you’re experiencing a dark present. I’ve had short dry spells and long ones in my walk with Christ, but I’ve come to realize it’s normal; no one is immune to this condition of human existence. If you have experienced the same in your spiritual walk, then welcome to my world, Dr. Graham’s world, and David’s world, the writer of Psalm 13; the man after God’s own heart who would soon become king.

In the six short verses of Psalm 13, David covers a lot of ground in his conversation with God. He goes from complaining, to petitioning, to praising God. In the first two verses alone, he seems to be feeling the same as Billy Graham in his letter to his mom. David would soon become Israel’s king, but when he wrote this psalm he was most likely on the run from Saul after Saul tried to kill him.

He complains to God: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me (Ps 13:1-2)?”

David was desperate. I’ve been desperate. How about you?

Popular English preacher of the nineteenth century, Charles Spurgeon, referred to Psalm 13 as the “Howling Psalm” because David repeated the words “how long” four times in the first two verses. He said that this psalm gives words to the way many of us feel as we encounter the trials of life. In a sermon titled “The Darkest Hour in the Christian’s Life,” Spurgeon spoke about the experience of feeling abandoned by God and struggling with doubt and despair. Because of his lifelong battle with depression, Spurgeon was able to identify with David in his suffering. Through this fight, he was able to reflect in his teachings an understanding of the spiritual struggles and suffering that is part of the human experience.

If spiritual giants like King David and Billy Graham can experience doubt and despair, should we expect any different? It’s not unusual to sometimes feel abandoned by God and to struggle with the same feelings. It’s not where we live, but it’s where we go at times: those times when doubt and despair unleash a floodgate of negative emotions that masquerade as facts; those times when we don’t seem to be getting anywhere with our prayers.

Are you currently feeling a bit distant from God? Remember, it’s not about how you feel, it’s about the facts (see “facts versus feelings” in “The 4 Spiritual Laws”). Christ is your savior, whether you feel it or not. It’s ok to tell God how you feel – to be a “howling Psalmist.” He knows you are desperate and what you are thinking. Why not verbalize it?

If you read the remainder of Psalm 13 you will notice that David quits complaining after verse two, and in verses three and four he says, “Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes … (Ps 13:3-4).” And then in verses five and six He praises God: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me (Ps 13:5-6).”

I encourage you to do the same. You can howl, but don’t forget to let your petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers as you ask Him for what you need and then praise Him for His unfailing love, His salvation, and His goodness.

Play to win this week in the game that really counts!