"The soul refuses to be harnessed; it knows nothing of Day Timers and deadlines and P&L statements. The soul longs for passion, for freedom, for life."
-John Eldredge, from his book "Wild at Heart"
Note: I wrote this in 2014 after reading an inspiring obituary of a women who had lived life to its fullest. What struck me was that all the things that were said about her focused on what she had done for others. She was not well known, but she was well valued by the countless lives she had touched through the investment of her time in others. As I read her tribute, I began to think about how my own obituary would read. My first thoughts went to how I would not want it to read, which resulted in this piece below. Perhaps it will encourage to to finish well in the things that matter here on Planet Earth:
(Anywhere, USA) John A. Smith, age 54, 123 Elm St., Anywhere, USA, died last week at his work desk from complications stemming from a common disease afflicting many Americans (predominately men) known as an unbalanced life, which typically develops from high exposure to a sister disease known as affluenza.
John was born to Conrad and Mary Smith, loving parents who never had much in the way of material possessions, but who always modeled a strong work ethic, an unwavering faith, and who both sacrificed of themselves so that their children could have opportunities they never had. Mr. Smith leaves behind Rebecca, his loving wife of 27 years, and two children; Abigail (age 21), and Michael (age 16). He earned a bachelor’s degree from State University, graduating with a 2.6 GPA. For the past 23 years he has held positions in middle management for AnkouCorp, a large U.S. conglomerate.
John always worked very hard to prove to all those around him that he was valuable to his company and sacrificed time that he could have been spending with his family to make sure shareholders were satisfied each and every quarter. Although shareholders weren’t always satisfied, Mr. Smith nonetheless worked at a relentless pace to do better next quarter so that when the stack rankings of the middle managers came out each quarter, he could be assured a place in the top half. John’s work accomplishments were as follows: “Top Producer” (3rd quarter 2002) and “2007 Company Team Player” for his work on the “Do More … Do it Better … Do it Now” campaign. His numbers from his most recent quarter (which lagged his previous quarterly performance) are as follows: revenue grown +1.2%, sales force growth +2.9%, expenses -0.4% (Mr. Smith’s previous results were not available per company officials as “they are deemed irrelevant at this point in time”).
John devoted his life to his work. He spent long hours at the office so that his family could enjoy the material possessions that his parents were never able to provide. He was a member of Faith Chapel, Rotary, Kiwanis, and served as campaign chairman for his company’s United Way drive last year. All who knew John admired him most for his dedication to AnkouCorp. He will be remembered for his commitment to corporate profitability, his “take no prisoners” management style and his belief in his company. While not loved by all in the workplace, he was admired by all for his shrewdness and focus. His co-workers will affectionately remember John for his favorite quote: “What have you done for me lately?”
John loved his family. When asked about his favorite memory of his father Michael replied, “The time my Dad’s important business trip got cancelled due to snow, and Dad made pancakes for me and took me bowling.” Abigail shared, “The one time Dad was able to get to my school program on time when I played Snow White in the kindergarten play. I remembered Dad smiling at me from behind the video camera as he was filming me.”
The lake and mountains were John’s favorite places, although due to his schedule, he was rarely able to go. He often talked about how he was going to spend more time with his family at these places when he took his early retirement at age 60. “I’m looking forward to doing all the things at retirement that I used to enjoy, but didn’t have time to do,” his wife Rebecca remembered him often saying.
John was alone when he died, and was discovered by the cleaning crew around 10:00 pm.
A celebration of life will be held on Saturday at 11 am at Faith Chapel. The family will receive friends at their home. Rebecca, Michael, and Abigail ask that in lieu of flowers, please buy some paper and a pen and write down the things you need to say and do with those you love the most, recommending that you start with the end in mind, giving great consideration to the things that matter most.
We are all writing our obituaries daily by the way we live. How does yours read right now? How will it read in the end? It’s never too late to make a course correction.
Play to win this week in the game that really counts!
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